What If You Don’t Need a Better Parenting Strategy — You Need a Better Understanding of Your Child?

I think most parents have had this experience.

Something isn’t working with your child, so you start looking for an answer.

You Google it.

You ask another parent.

You watch a video.

You read an article.

Maybe you even buy a parenting book and actually make it through the first three chapters before life gets in the way.

You find a new strategy that sounds completely reasonable.

You try it.

And sometimes it works.

Other times your child basically looks at you like, Nice try.

So you start searching again.

I don’t think that means the advice was necessarily bad.

And I don’t think it means you failed to do it correctly.

I think there may be another piece of the puzzle that parenting advice often skips over.

We’re Usually Given the Strategy First

Think about how most parenting advice is presented.

If your child won’t listen, do this.

If your child is unmotivated, try this.

If your child argues, say this.

If your child is anxious, respond this way.

If your child needs more independence, give them this.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with that.

Parents need tools.

I need tools.

We all do.

But there’s a problem when we start treating the tool as if it should work the same way on every child.

You can have a great tool and still be using the wrong tool for the person standing in front of you.

You Probably Already Know This About Your Kids

If you have more than one child, you’ve already seen this play out.

You don’t need an Akashic Record reading to know your children aren’t identical.

Even children raised in the same home can have completely different reactions to the exact same thing.

One child wants clear instructions.

Another hears detailed instructions and immediately feels controlled.

One child wants you to sit down and talk through everything that happened.

Another needs twenty minutes alone before they’re remotely interested in talking to you.

One seems motivated by goals and accomplishments.

Another couldn’t care less about the reward you thought was going to motivate them.

And every once in a while you find yourself thinking:

Why is this so much harder with this kid?

That’s usually where we start looking for a better strategy.

But what if the child isn’t making the strategy fail?

What if the strategy just doesn’t fit the child?

The Missing Piece May Be Individualization

I’ve raised five kids, and one thing parenting has taught me is that knowing what worked yesterday doesn’t guarantee you know what’s going to work today.

Especially when you’re dealing with a different child.

That’s why I’ve become much more interested in individualized parenting.

Not individualized in the sense that everybody gets their own rules and anything goes.

I mean individualized in the sense that you stop assuming there is one perfect way to communicate, motivate, teach, guide, or support every child.

Even conventional parenting tools make more sense when they’re applied with the individual child in mind.

A child’s temperament matters.

Their age matters.

Their emotional state matters.

Their developmental stage matters.

What motivates them matters.

And I believe their deeper natural design matters too.

This Isn’t About Putting Your Child in a Box

This is important to me because I have zero interest in creating another label parents can stick on their kids.

We already have plenty of those.

When I talk about understanding your child’s Soul Aspect, I’m not saying:

“Your child is this type, so this is how they will always behave.”

That would defeat the entire point.

Human beings make choices.

Children grow.

They learn.

They change.

They can express the same natural qualities in healthy ways or unhealthy ways.

The information isn’t supposed to become another box.

It’s supposed to give you another lens.

A lens that may help you look at something you’ve been fighting with your child about and ask:

Understanding doesn’t automatically give you the answer.

But it can help you ask a much better question.

Understanding Your Child Doesn’t Mean Excusing Everything

I want to keep coming back to this because I think it matters.

There’s a big difference between understanding behavior and excusing behavior.

If your child naturally values independence, that doesn’t mean they never have to follow a rule.

If your child needs more time to process something, that doesn’t mean the conversation never happens.

If your child hates structure, that doesn’t mean school starts whenever they feel like showing up.

Understanding the child isn’t about removing expectations.

It can help you figure out the smartest way to communicate and uphold those expectations.

I think that distinction gets lost sometimes.

Different kids may need different roads to reach the same destination.

What Does the Akashic Record Part Have to Do With This?

This is where The Soul Aspect takes a different approach.

Through my work with the Akashic Records, I look at specific pieces of a child’s Soul-level design.

For The Soul Aspect, I’ve taken some of that information and translated it into three practical areas for parents:

Core Nature.

Core Gifts.

Decision-Making Style.

The purpose isn’t just to give you interesting spiritual information about your child.

Honestly, if you read it and think, Well, that’s cool, and then never think about it again, I haven’t done my job very well.

I want the information to be useful.

I want you to be able to look at the child you already know and notice things differently.

Maybe something that has always frustrated you suddenly makes a little more sense.

Maybe you realize you’ve been asking your child to approach something exactly the way you would.

Maybe you recognize a strength that you’ve been viewing as a problem because it shows up differently than you expected.

Maybe it simply gives you a new place to start.

You Still Know Your Child Better Than I Do

This may sound strange coming from somebody selling readings, but I think it’s important to say it.

I don’t know your child better than you do.

I’m not raising them.

I’m not there at 7:00 in the morning when everyone is trying to get out the door.

I’m not there during the homework argument.

I don’t know the look they give you when you know something is wrong even though they swear they’re fine.

You know those things.

The Soul Aspect isn’t meant to replace that knowledge.

It’s meant to give you another layer of information that you can compare against what you already know.

That combination is where I think this becomes really useful.

Maybe the Strategy Wasn’t the Problem

There’s another reason I think this matters.

Parents carry a ridiculous amount of pressure.

When something isn’t working, it’s easy to assume:

I need to be more consistent.

I need to be calmer.

I need a better routine.

I must be doing this wrong.

Sometimes, sure. We can all do things better.

But sometimes you’re trying really hard to make a strategy work with a child it simply doesn’t fit.

That doesn’t automatically make the strategy bad.

It doesn’t make the child difficult.

And it doesn’t automatically mean you’re failing.

It may just mean you need more information.

Start With Who They Are

I’m not promising that understanding your child suddenly makes parenting easy.

I have five kids. I would never make that promise.

Kids are still going to make choices you don’t understand.

They’re still going to push boundaries.

They’re still going to have emotions.

So are you.

There isn’t some magical profile that eliminates all of that.

But I do think there’s power in changing where we begin.

Instead of beginning with:

“What parenting strategy should I use?”

Start with:

“Who is this child?”

Then ask:

“Knowing that, what might actually work for them?”

That’s individualized parenting.

And that’s the idea behind The Soul Aspect of Parenting.